A Caregiver's Story
- Abdominal Cancers Alliance
- Aug 1
- 4 min read
By Sam Plantz
West Virginia
July 2025
To be the best for those you love, you must do the best for yourself.
Almost seven years ago, my brother Bo, was rushed to the hospital due to prolonged abdominal pain. After a brief illness and surgery, we thought the worst was behind us. Never did we imagine that he would have have been diagnosed with stage 4 appendix cancer. But once the pathology reports came back, our worst nightmare came true. Where did we go from there?
I have been a nurse now for almost seven years, but at the time of my brother’s diagnosis in 2018, I had been an RN for less than a year. A nurse wears many hats; you are a pharmacist, a therapist, a dietician, and sometimes even a janitor. But at the pinnacle, you are a nurse; someone whose duty is to make your patients feel safe and loved, while instilling trust and providing care and compassion. Like so many of my peers, I have tried to maintain one basic goal over the years: treat my patients as if each one was my own family member.
When my brother called to tell me he had cancer, I was shocked. Still, I didn’t cower in fear of the diagnosis, I simply responded, “Okay, what do we do next?” When our backs are against the wall, we only have one direction we can go, and that is forward.
Life is about who you know. Sometimes we discover relationships that allow us to make connections we could never anticipate. For my brother, one such relationship through his wife got him to a specialist that was able to help us deal with his cancer. One thing that surprised me when learning about his appendix cancer diagnosis, is that many patients with appendix cancer have a hard time finding specialist care. Like so many people, we had never heard of appendix cancer. And what surprised me most was that so many care providers still do not understand this cancer, making it harder for patients to find the care they need. Had it not been for his connections, my brother might never have found the care he needed to get an accurate diagnosis and the treatment he needed. Ultimately, this meant that he underwent the CRS-HIPEC procedure in early 2019.
So, what is recovery like after a major procedure such as HIPEC? As I mentioned, I was fortunate to have a medical background, but it does not take a medical degree to care for someone you love. It is hard. It is scary. It is especially difficult in those moments when the only help you can give is to be there by their side. During my brother’s recovery, it was pain medication every few hours, especially in the middle of the night. It was his frail attempts to walk to and from the bathroom. It was breaking down the awkward barriers to help him bathe. It was changing the dressings on his drains. It was coaching him through giving himself his first injections (blood thinners). If you don’t have patience before this experience, you will afterward.
Caring for someone after HIPEC is a labor of love, but something I often tell my patients’ families is do not neglect caring for yourselves; stay hydrated, get adequate nutrition, and sleep when you can. To be the best for those you love, you must do the best for yourself.
A lot of scary things happen in a short amount of time following a diagnosis. Then come the challenges of surgery and recovery. But what does one, two, five years following surgery look like? In my opinion, there are so many incredible things. My brother is now a father to the most curious two-and-a-half-year-old you will meet. Bo was the best man in my wedding in 2023. He’s now the executive director of the very organization for which I am writing this story.
My brother, Bo, has a mission. Along with Dr. Sardi, he wants everyone to have the same opportunities for care that he had. The Abdominal Cancers Alliance is about education and outreach to not only patients, but also to the doctors who help make their patients’ treatment plans. The Alliance’s goal is to provide love, education, care, and opportunities for a second chance following an abdominal cancer diagnosis.
If there is anything I can leave you with, it is this: cherish every moment of the treatment and healing process – be IN the moment. For myself, I believe we have one chance at this life, and you must do what you can to get it right. You must acknowledge the negative or else it will drown you. You must see the dark to embrace the light. Please remember that no matter what you are going through as their caregiver, you are doing your best by trying to give them your all. You are not alone in this fight. Be good, do good.
